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BREAKIN ALL THE RULES
by Peter Sobczynski

May 14, 2004

(out of 4 stars)

FILM CREDITS: Written and directed by Daniel Taplitz. Starring Jamie Foxx, Gabrielle Union, Morris Chestnut, Bianca Lawson, Peter MacNicol and Jennifer Espositio. PG-13. Screen Gems

"Breakin’ All the Rules" is a movie that has a bold message to deliver and the message is that girls are icky. Jamie Foxx stars as a amiable shlup who gets dumped by his girlfriend (Bianca Lawson) on the eve of their engagement because-well, because she’s a woman and all women, according to this film, are greedy, self-centered and slutty monsters. Appalled by the insensitivity of the break-up (hey, at least she didn’t do it via e-mail), he sits down and writes a book on how to break up with someone without violence, unpleasantness or losing any books you might have left over at her place. In what seems like only a couple of weeks later, the book becomes a mammoth best-seller, but instead of endless book signing tours and appearances on Craig Kilborn, Foxx finds himself caught up in a mess of romantic conflicts involving his best friend (Morris Chestnut), the best friend’s ex (Gabrielle Union) who he has developed a thing for, the best friend’s ex’s best friend (Jill Ritchie), who seems too involved with her pal’s love life than is healthy, his own evil ex (who returns the minute she hears of his success), his nerdy boss (Peter MacNicol) and his nerdy boss’s gold-digging girlfriend (Jennifer Esposito).

The results are at once unfathomably complex and staggeringly uninteresting. All of the characters are completely unlikable and you hope that they wind up with each other simply to avoid having them tainting the dating pool for the rest of us. The hatefulness isn’t relegated solely to the characters either-writer/director Daniel Taplitz seems to find the notion of an annoying black woman being attacked by a pack of dogs to be a comedic high-water mark and also gives plenty of screen time to jokes involving dog pee and lecherous old men. (The only thing missing here is an appearance from crappy-black-comedy-icon Vivica A. Fox.) I only smiled once during "Breakin All the Rules" and that occurred as the screening ended; I was imagining the vicious skewering this film could receive in the beloved "Boondocks" comic strip if its author thought it would be worth his time.

-- PETER SOBCZYNSKI

Copyright © 2004 Peter Sobczynski
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.