"Where Movie Critics Get A Taste Of Their Own Medicine"
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The notion of a film in which a repressed nerd learns to let his hair down when he becomes involved with a sexy and uninhibited free spirit is not a bad one-"Bringing Up Baby", "After Hours" and "Something Wild" have used that basic plot as a springboard and they are three of the best films you are ever likely to see in your lifetime. One of the reasons that they worked is because of the impeccable casting and this is the reason why the stylistically similar "Along Came Polly" never comes close to working. Having Ben Stiller playing the hapless nerd, a neurotic risk-assessment analyst whose life comes apart when his new wife (Debra Messing) dumps him on their honeymoon for a French scuba instructor (Hank Azaria), isn't a bad idea (although it is a role that he may have played once too often) but the notion of the terminally bland and perky Jennifer Aniston as the free spirit is mind-boggling. She may be many things (none come to mind at the moment) but "uninhibited free spirit" certainly isn't one of them; at best, I can see her playing the bland girlfriend who would drive the nerd into the arms of the uninhibited free spirit. And since she isn't remotely believable, the rest of the movie falls apart because there really isn't much left to it. The romance isn't much to speak of and the jokes are pretty much refried Farrelly Brothers schtick that usually involve Stiller in the midst of public humiliation (such as the played-to-death clogged-toilet bit that dominates all the commercials) or sexual dysfunction. The only amusing elements come from some of the supporting performances because they actually have a little bit of life to them. Alec Baldwin pops up as Stiller's boorish boss and while he doesn't have much to work with (his big scene involves his less-than-hygienic bathroom manners), he plays it so broadly that you can't help but smile at his absolute shamelessness. Even better is Philip Seymour Hoffman, who steals the film as Stiller's best pal-a former child star who hasn't quite grasped the fact that he has been a has-been for nearly 20 years. His character seems to be periodically making visits from an entirely different movie and each time he leaves, you want to follow him into that film.

Written and directed by John Hamburg. Starring Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Debra Messing. Rated PG-13

Michael Caine has always been one of the most instantly likable of actors-even when he was pissing away his career in the 1980's on a series of crappy movies ("The Island", "Victory", "Blame It on Rio", "Surrender" and "Jaws: The Revenge", to name just a few) that he blatantly admitted he did simply for the money, no one really took him to task-and even when he is playing characters that would otherwise be reprehensible to audiences, he can still make them seem utterly charming and engaging. (If anyone else had played the ether-huffing abortionist in "The Cider House Rules", for example, I doubt that many audiences would have so easily accepted that character.) In "The Statement", Caine plays a former Vichy police officer who helped the Nazis hunt down French Jews during the war and who is now, fifty years later, on the run himself and you would think that by casting him in such a role, director Norman Jewison would use that likability in intriguing ways-forcing us to identify with the rationale of a man who did (and continues to do) despicable things in order to save his own skin. That sounds like a promising film but alas, that is not the film that "The Statement" is. Instead, it is nothing more than a plodding cat-and-mouse drama in which Caine's character finds himself pursued by both a pair of French police inspectors (Tilda
Swinton and Jeremy Northam) looking to arrest him and a series of hit men trying to kill him as part of a vast conspiracy. The story never really develops any momentum and an attempt to expose and discuss the behavior of the Catholic Church during the war quickly becomes muddled (which might explain why the Church hasn't uttered a peep about the film that I know of). Caine is good (especially in a dark, devastating scene in which he pops up on the doorstep of ex-wife Charlotte Rampling) and the notion of following an absolute heel on a self-absorbed quest for his own peculiar brand of absolution is a good one. However, the script is just a little too clunky for its own good (if he is so crafty and wily, why does it take him forever to figure out who his betrayer is?) and by the time Caine meets his destiny, the audience has long since gone beyond the point of caring.

Written by Ronald Harwood. Directed by Norman Jewison. Starring Michael Caine, Tilda Swinton, Jeremy Northam, Alan Bates and Charlotte Rampling. Rated R.

Copyright © 2004 Peter Sobczynski
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.