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The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi
* * *

Takeshi Kitano’s "The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi", his take on the legendary Japanese film character (a blind samurai who travels from town to town, in the guise of a simple masseuse, to right wrongs), is a lot like the films (such as "Sonatine" and "Fireworks") that made the filmmaker a hot commodity on the world cinema scene in the mid-1990’s; it is thrilling, violent, funny and almost always watchable but the storyline, though it would appear to be fairly simple and straightforward on the surface, is utterly bewildering. The plot somehow ties together Zatoichi (played by Kitano under his "Beat Takeshi" alias), a village under siege from a criminal gang that is in need of a hero to protect them, a pair of geishas (one with an additional secret under the kimono) who are also thirsting for revenge and field workers whose synchronized movements are reminiscent of the assembly-line production numbers in "Dancer in the Dark". While the film isn’t completely successful (it really is confusing and the CGI gore effects are jarringly obvious), I can’t say that I was ever bored while watching it and some of the goofier touches are actually kind of endearing; when was the last time that you ever saw a gory samurai movie attempt to tie up all of its loose ends with a mass cast tap-dance sequence?

R

Written and directed by Takeshi Kitano. Starring Beat Takeshi, Michiyo Ookusu, Gadarukanaru Taka, Daisoro Tachibana and Yuuko Daike.

Garden State
* * *

The first time I saw "Garden State", I have to admit that I didn’t much care for it; it struck me as being nothing more than a self-consciously quirky film about a mid-level TV star ("Scrubs" lead Zack Braff) who managed to amass enough industry credibility to allow him to write, direct and star in a movie in which he could get Natalie Portman to snuggle with him in a swimming pool. The second time I saw it (never underestimate the drawing power of a soaking-wet Natalie Portman), I found myself beginning to catch onto the oddball comic rhythms of this tale of an overmedicated young man (Braff) who returns home to confront his mother’s death, his remote psychiatrist father (Ian Holm) and his weirdo high school buddies (including Peter Sarsgaard) with the help of a cute local girl (Portman). Attracting a higher-profile cast than is normally seen in a first-time indie project, Braff gets good performances from both himself and his fellow actors (Portman seems visibily relieved to be working with real people and dialogue after her work in the recent "Star Wars" films). And while the film takes a while to get going (the first half contains a few too many pointless digressions for its own good), things begin to click after a while and the final sequence, chronicling a wild-goose chase throughout most of New Jersey, is pretty funny and, in the end, actually somewhat moving. Not a great film (the hosannas that greeted it when it premiered at Sundance seem a bit much in a non-festival atmosphere) but a pretty good first effort.

RATED R

Written and directed by Zac Braff. Starring Zac Braff, Natalie Portman, Ian Holm, Peter Sarsgaard and Jean Smart.

Little Black Book
*

Watching "Little Black Book" is a little like watching an extended episode of "I Love Lucy"-the difference being that instead of loving Lucy, most people would be more inclined to whack her unconscious with a ashtray and drag her body to the bathtub in order to chop her into little pieces and dissolve her with acid. This might sound a bit harsh, I suppose, but even the most kind-hearted viewer will soon grow exasperated and the idiotic doings of Stacy, the dimwit played by Brittany Murphy. Stacy is an associate producer at a low-level trash-talk show who becomes suspicious of her seemingly perfect boyfriend (Ron Livingston), for no other reason than if she doesn’t, there is no movie. Therefore, with co-worker Barb (Holly Hunter, slumming terribly), she steals her out-of-town boyfriend’s Palm Pilot in order to look up his old girlfriends-a vain European supermodel (Josie Maran, reusing the accent that no one paid attention to in "Van Helsing"), a vain gynecologist (Rashida Jones) and an absolutely sweet and perfect chef (Julianne Nicholson). Eventually, the girlfriend search and the TV show intertwine in a final sequence that is so baffling and unlikely that the conclusion of "Lost Highway" seems straightforward by comparison.

It is hard to know just where to start when encapsulating the failures of the film. There is the weak trash-TV satire that seems at least 15 years past its sell-by date. There is the sight of not one, but two former Best Actress Oscar winners (Kathy Bates appears as the TV host) humiliating themselves for a paycheck. (Hunter’s work, a one-note riff on her performance in "Broadcast News", is especially bewildering as the screenplay never decides whether she is friend, foe or a vestige from an earlier draft that was never properly disposed of.) There are the wildly inappropriate bits of tasteless humor (including a joke where the punch line revolves around the assassination of John Lennon and a visit to the gynecologist that is slightly less pleasant than the similar scenes in "Dead Ringers") that mix uneasily with the sentimental stuff (including an obsession with the music of Carly Simon.) However, the central problem of "Little Black Book" is the fact that the heroine-the person that the viewer is supposed to have a vested interest in-is nothing more than an unpleasant monster who deserves every single thing that happens to her (except for the singularly unbelievable happy ending). At one point, our heroine (in one of her less intelligent moments) refers to Mike "The Day of the Dolphin" Nichols as a "genius" because he made "Working Girl" (which this film desperately tries to imitate); all I will say in response to that is that "Little Black Book" is worse than any of Nichols’s directorial efforts and remember, I have seen "What Planet Are You From?".
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RATED PG-13

Written by Melissa Carter and Elisa Bell. Directed by Nick Hurran. Starring Brittany Murphy, Holly Hunter, Ron Livingston and Kathy Bates.

"Open Water" is a smashingly effective horror film-easily the best to come around since "May"-that takes some commonly-held fears and hammers away at them so mercilessly that even the most jaded genre fans will find themselves squirming in their seats. A harried Yuppie couple (Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis) decide to spend part of their vacation time scuba-diving in the ocean with a tour group. Through a series of errors on all sides, the dive boat returns to shore without them and they are stranded out in the middle of the water with no possible means of rescue. This would be bad enough for most people but the couple, whose fear and exhaustion soon manifests itself into bickering, so realize that they have one more problem to contend with-a school of sharks who are drawing closer and closer to them with each passing hour.

This is already a great premise for a horror movie (based on a real-life incident off the Great Barrier Reef a few years ago) but writer-director Chris Kentis turns the screws even further with the method he has utilized to tell the story-instead of using a tank and special effects, he actually dropped his two actors into the ocean and filmed them alongside real sharks that had been lured into the area. (At times, I doubt that the actors, who wore anti-shark chain-mail underneath their wetsuits, realized how close the sharks were getting to them until they saw the final film.) This may make "Open Water" sound like a cheesy gimmick film but it genuinely works as a suspense film because once the water gets grey and choppy, it becomes impossible to determine what is merely a wave and what is a shark; when one makes its first unquestioned appearance after the build-up, the jolt it provides is as strong as the one that marked the first appearance of the shark in "Jaws".

What also elevates "Open Water" from being just a typical gimmick film-the "Jaws" meets "Blair Witch Project" combination that some have described it as-is that Kentis’s direction is strong and sure-handed (aside from a couple of rookie mistakes-a largely unnecessary musical soundtrack when silence might have been more effective and a couple of cuts back to the mainland that take away from the central situation for no real purpose) and the performances by the two leads are surprisingly effective. Instead of getting two people who could scuba and praying that they could act, Kentis managed to luck upon a couple of strong actors to drop in the water-the scenes of their marriage dissolving along with their hopes of rescue are just as gripping and absorbing as the shark material, thanks to the work of Ryan and Travis. (And for those who go to movies for less-than-noble reasons, it should probably be noted that the heretofore unknown Blanchard Ryan has a nude scene early on that should prove to have the same impact on viewers as Phoebe Cates’ legendary appearance in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High".) I am a little hesitant to say how effective "Open Water" truly is because it may set viewer expectations too high-remember how the hype on "The Blair Witch Project" turned sour once everyone kept hearing that it was the scariest thing ever? This time, believe the hype-if you have ever feared the unknown (and who hasn’t?) then I guarantee that "Open Water" will scare the hell out of you.

RATED R

Written and directed by Chris Kentis. Starring Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis

-- Capsule Reviews by Peter Sobczynski

Copyright © 2004 Peter Sobczynski
All rights reserved.
Used with permission
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.