"Where Movie Critics Get A Taste Of Their Own Medicine"
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1/2 Claude Lelouch has been making movies for over forty years now and if he keeps going for another forty, he may eventually make one that is bearable to watch. After scoring an inexplicable international hit with "A Man and a Woman" in 1966, he has been trying to recapture that sensation with a seemingly endless string of treacly exercises that no one (aside from the possibility of Michael Kutza) could possibly endure without breaking out into hives-this is a guy who managed to come up with an adaptation of "Les Miserables" even dippier than the musical version. However, even I was surprised by the sheer cruddiness of his latest exercise, "And Now Ladies and Gentlemen" (1 STAR Rated PG-13), which is gloppy even by his standards.

Jeremy Irons, in a role almost as embarrassing as his turn in "Dungeons and Dragons" stars as Valentin Valentine, a crafty jewel thief who has amassed a small fortune by robbing stores through a combinations of "clever" disguises and knowing to only hit stores staffed by people so perilously near-sighted that they can’t see that the little old lady standing in front of them is clearly a man in a bad wig and dress (I’ve seen Shemp Howard in more convincing drag appearances.) After one final haul, he buys a boat to sail the world, only to black out and run aground in Morocco. From there, he becomes embroiled in an increasingly tedious chain of events involving a mysterious singer (Patricia Kass), who seems to also be suffering from a brain malady, a daring jewel theft and his desire to make amends to those he stole from in his past.

It is hard to even know where to start ripping into this nightmare. The performances are dreadful-Kaas is so insubstantial that she barely registers on the screen while everyone else has been encouraged to ham it up. The dialogue is the kind of pseudo-profound gruel that comes close to parody-try a line like "The despair of the jet-set is fathomless" on for size. The script is so melodramatic that even Robin Williams might have believed it to be over the top-this is the kind of movie that tries to jerk tears by giving two characters brain tumors and is so desperate for a happy ending that while it spends an enormous amount of time following one of them on a spiritual pilgrimage to a faith healer, it forgets to say whether the person was cured or not. This is the kind of film that give the word "piffle" a bad name.

The end of summer is usually the time when the studios dribble out the films that they know to be hopeless dogs in the hopes of scoring a few bucks from audiences yearning to see anything remotely new (which is why the long-shelved movies "Marci X" and "My Boss’s Daughter" are finally seeing the light of day-albeit without any advanced screenings for critics). In Chicago, one annual event that makes this period a little more bearable is the always-interesting Chicago Underground Film Festival. Now in its 10th year, the festival, running from August 27-September 2 at the Landmark Century Centre Cinemas (2828 N. Clark) will be screening dozens of features and shorts-fiction and documentary, live-action and animated-from around the world and the results are almost always unique. This year’s festival kicks of with the premiere of "Stoked: The Rise and Fall of Gator", a documentary by Helen Stickler about Mark "Gator" Rogowski, who was one of the pioneers of 1980’s skateboard culture until changing times led him on a downward path resulting in his imprisonment for murder. (The film will open commercially in September.)

To these eyes, the most intriguing title on display is "Hitler’s Hat" (screening on the 28th), the latest documentary from Jeff Krulik (a favorite of the fest whose "Heavy Metal Parking Lot" is considered to be a classic of the form). This time around, he tells the story of a GI who was among those who stormed Hitler’s Munich apartment and who came across the chapeau in question. Like Errol Morris, Krulik (who previous subjects have included Ernest Borgnine, the old "Lancelot Link" show and the audiences tailgating at Judas Priest and Neil Diamond concerts) has the ability to tell stories that are strange, quirky and haunting without ever resorting to condescension or cheap sentiment and any chance to catch one of his films should not be passed up.

Tickets for the Chicago Underground Film Festival are $9 and festival passes are also available. Tickets can be purchased at the box-office, at Ticketweb.com or by calling (866)469-3401. For a full schedule of films and other events, go to the festival’s web site at www.cuff.org

Copyright © 2003 Peter Sobczynski
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.