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1/2 Working in the haunted-house comedy genre that has sustained many a screen comedian over the years (Bob Hope, Abbot & Costello, Laurel & Hardy, Olsen & Johnson, Don Knotts and Bill Murray, to name a few), Eddie Murphy continues his downward career spiral with "The Haunted Mansion", a film that, like "Pirates of the Caribbean", is based on a Disney theme-park ride but, unlike "Pirates", never manages to transcend its greed-based origins. Once again, Murphy plays a grinning schmuck-this time a real-estate agent who learns how to be a Better Father and Husband when he and his brood are trapped in the titular abode by a ghost who believes that his wife (Marsha Thomason) is really a reincarnated former love. Watching the movie drag on for 90 minutes, I could never figure out exactly who it was aimed for in the first place. After all, it is far too upsetting for small children (the film kicks off with a double suicide and features cadaver effects by Rick Baker that are so detailed that they could have been used in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre") and, despite the endless special effects, far too boring for anyone of double-digit age. While not as bottomlessly offensive as "The Cat in the Hat", this is merely another example of the good name of a long-cherished family favorite being "improved" into the ground by people who see nothing but potential dollar signs. Do your family a favor and stick with the DVD of "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken".

For those people who would rather poke their eyeballs out than sit through a typical holiday special-the kind of thing in which a grumpy old curmudgeon learns the True Meaning of Christmas-"Bad Santa" should come as a blessedly profane relief. Billy Bob Thornton stars as Willie, a low-life drunk who, with his midget partner-in-crime (Tony Cox) travels from city to city every holiday season to use his department-store Santa job as a front to pull off elaborate Christmas Eve robberies. In Phoenix, though, things become complicated when Willie crosses paths with a suspicious store manager (John Ritter, who the film is dedicated to), a greedy store detective (Bernie Mac) who knows what Willie is up to and wants his cut and a local babe (Lauren Graham) with a kinky Santa fetish. Things really become complicated for Willie when a lonely little boy (Brett Kelly) latches on to him in the belief that he is the real Santa.

The central joke in the film is the sight of a guy in a Santa outfit drinking and thieving and swearing and screwing-not exactly the most original idea but one that "Bad Santa" manages to milk for a good amount of its running time. Part of the reason why it succeeds is because a lot of the jokes, filthy though they may be, are genuinely funny (I love the moment where "Santa", facing a kid tugging on his fake beard, explains that the real one fell out because "I loved a woman who wasn’t clean."). An even bigger part of it, however, is the fully committed performance by Thornton as Willie-even though he wasn’t the first choice for the part (the role was once earmarked for Bill Murray), it is impossible to imagine anyone else in the part. (With the combination of a deranged Thornton, a lonely boy and John Ritter, it feels at times as if director Terry Zwigoff-a long ways away from "Ghost World"-is secretly doing a spoof of "Sling Blade".) While it will probably never become an annual holiday classic on the level of "A Christmas Story" (mostly because the sheer amount of profanity will prevent it from ever being shown on commercial television), I can safely predict that for those who need a break from the holiday spirit, "Bad Santa" will come as a blessed relief.

1/2 An unlikely, unfunny would-be comedy that takes numerous potshots at Hollywood, "The New Suit" is just as stupid as the movie industry that it is spoofing. Jordan Bridges stars as Kevin, a would-be screenwriter who is toiling away as an assistant for an over-the-hill producer (Dan Hedaya, the film’s only spark of life). One day, annoyed by the fact that his colleagues clearly haven’t been reading the scripts they are bragging about, he makes up a script title and author out of whole cloth to see how they respond. Unfortunately, his joke touches off a feeding frenzy throughout the town as everyone-agents, producers, studio heads-want to get their hands on the nonexistent script on the theory that if everyone is talking about it, it must be good. A labored riff on "The Emperor’s New Clothes", "The New Suit" is a film that isn’t smart, isn’t amusing and knows less about the industry than the average reader of "Entertainment Weekly".

Copyright © 2003 Peter Sobczynski
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.