"Where Movie Critics Get A Taste Of Their Own Medicine"
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I suppose to have any lingering affection for the old "Beach Party" movies of the 1960’s-those ultra-frothy programmers that featured Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello, goofy titles ("Beach Blanket Bingo" is probably the most famous, though I hold a soft spot for "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini"), goofier songs, dumb slapstick, dumber romantic conflicts and brief appearances from stars either on the way up (Linda Evans popped up in "Beach Blanket Bingo") or down (Buster Keaton and Boris Karloff were among those who sometimes turned up)-you really had to be there at the time when they first came out. The only way one could have any sort of fond memories about them would be if they also included sitting in a drive-in in the back seat of a cool piece of Detroit rolling stock with the guy or gal of your dreams doing everything but paying attention to the actual movies. Otherwise, they are pretty bad even by the reduced standards of teen schlock films.

Given all that, it was hard to decide what was harder to believe when "Back to the Beach" was released in the summer of 1987-that someone would actually have the nerve to produce a new Beach Party movie more than 20 years after the last one or that it would turn out to be by far the best of the bunch. The plot, as always, is barely there-the now-married Frankie and Annette visit their daughter (Lori Loughlin) and get involved in a series of events that force Frankie (who has spent the past two decades inland after a terrible surfing accident) to take to the board again to save the day. Like the earlier films, this is merely an excuse for a collection of gags, musical numbers and cameo appearances; this installment features Bob Denver, Tony Dow, Connie Stevens (still looking foxy), Don Adams, Jerry Mathers, Fishbone and just when you think it can’t get any stranger, Pee-Wee Herman drops in on a flying surfboard to kick out a killer version of "Surfin Bird".

What is different this time around is the sly satire that is on display in every scene-you wouldn’t think that it was possible to successfully spoof something that hardly took itself seriously in the first place, but this film pulls off that achievement with a lot of funny jokes revolving around Frankie’s fashion taste, Annette’s proclivity towards Skippy peanut butter and the duo’s attempts to navigate contemporary beach culture. Many of the best jokes come courtesy of their other child, a would-be punker who gets a lot of laughs from his smart-ass remarks (after one inane conversation, he remarks "This must be what dinner conversation is like at the Kissingers") and his inability to get a rise out of his terminally cheerful parents. Thanks to an ad campaign that seemed designed to fail-it essentially posed as just another beach movie without any hint of the wit on display- "Back to the Beach" disappeared minutes after it was released and has only occasionally popped up on cable in the ensuing years. Perhaps the DVD will finally bring it the audience it deserved-it is cheaper than a day at the beach and a lot more fun.

Written by Peter Krikes & Steve Meerson and Christopher Thompson. Directed by Lyndall Hobbs. Starring Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello, Lori Loughlin, Bob Denver, Jerry Mathers, Connie Stevens and Pee-Wee Herman. 1987. Rated PG. 92 minutes. A Paramount Home Video release. $14.95.

ALI-THE DIRECTOR’S CUT (Columbia/Tri-Star Home Video. $24.95): When Michael Mann’s biopic of Muhammad Ali was released in 2001, it was criticized by many for never coming close to telling the complete story of the life of arguably the most famous and controversial American figure of the 20th century. (Of course to do that would require a running time roughly equivalent to "Berlin Alexanderplatz" and even that might be cutting it a little close.) By adding a few more minutes of footage, this version goes a little way towards filling in some of the blanks (as does an audio commentary by the usually reticent Mann) but if you didn’t like it before, you aren’t very likely to like it this time around. Those who did enjoy it (I had it on my Top 10 list for 2001) will once again be able to relish both the sure directorial hand of Mann (especially the opening sequence which effortlessly blends a Sam Cooke concert with Ali training for a fight) and the surprisingly effective performance by Will Smith in the title role-one of the few times in memory that a famous person has been able to play another famous person without letting their own persona get in the way.

THE DUKES OF HAZZARD: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON: You know, there may be a possibility that the whole TV-on-DVD fad may have gone a little too far. However, still a worthwhile purchase for the James Best completist on your list.

LITTLE MURDERS (Fox Home Video. $9.95): Even after more than 30 years, this 1971 black comedy about urban paranoia in New York (written by Jules Feiffer and directed by Alan Arkin, who contributes a memorable cameo) is still pretty fresh, funny and accurate. Whether this is a good or bad thing I leave for you to decide.

RABID ($24.95): 2004 is turning out to be a great year for fans of Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg-last month saw the first-ever release of his little-seen 1979 auto-racing film "Fast Company", Criterion is preparing a lavish set for his 1983 masterpiece "Videodrome" in August and now this controversial 1977 shocker has been given the special edition treatment. In a strange variation on the vampire myth, the film centers on a young woman (Marilyn Chambers in her first and only significant non-porn role) who is given an experimental skin graft after a motorcycle accident. The bad news is that, because of a malfunction, the only food that she is able to consume is blood (which is drawn from people via a syringe-like appendage growing from her armpit); the really bad news is that she is inadvertently spreading a form of rabies to anyone she takes blood from. Gross and creepy but undeniably effective and with a finale that is bleak even by Cronenberg’s standards.

TWO OF A KIND (Fox Home Video. $14.95): One of the dumbest movies ever made-some piffle in which God plans on destroying the Earth and the fate of mankind rests on whether or not John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John fall in love. I highlight it for one reason only. When writer-director John Herzfeld released "15 Minutes" a few years ago, he conveniently left this, his feature debut, off his filmography to create the impression that 1996’s "2 Days in the Valley" was his first film. Well, seeing as how he made the damn thing, I just don’t think it is fair that he should get off so easy and so I just wanted to remind everyone of his actual cinematic roots.

Copyright © 2004 Peter Sobczynski
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.