"Where Movie Critics Get A Taste Of Their Own Medicine"
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Twenty-five years after its release, "The Black Hole", Walt Disney Studios big-budget effort to jump on the sci-fi bandwagon created by the successes of "Star Wars" and "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", pretty much has the same reputation that it had when it first premiered in 1979-that of a boring bust with some elaborate special effects (mostly beautiful reminders of the days before computer imagery took over the special-effects industry), too many cutesy robots, a plot that was nothing more than a refried version of "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" and a finale so perplexingly odd that even David Lynch might have taken issue with it. It still isn’t a very good movie but I have to admit that I have a soft spot in my heart for it for a couple of reasons. The first is that finale-which is still crazy after all these years. The other reason is more personal-this, more than any other film, is the movie that helped me, at the tender age of 9, realize that I wanted to become a film critic when I grew up.

I was invited to a birthday party at the house of a kid (for the life of me, I cannot remember who) whose parents had just purchased a VCR.-at the time, a relative rarity as they were only just becoming widely available on the commercial market. As part of the festivities, they had rented "The Black Hole" to watch. Unlike most of my peers, I had already seen the film and even at that young age, I recognized that it was nothing more than a boring rip-off of far better films. Being a polite young lad, I didn’t say anything and watched the film with everyone else.

After it came to its merciful end, the mother asked us if we liked the film and everyone responded affirmatively-except, of course, for myself. When she asked why I didn’t like it, I said that it was boring, it was the exact same thing as "20,000 Leagues" (which I had seen and loved at the time) and that the black hole itself looked like a doughnut in a toilet. At that point, the infinitely patient and kind-hearted woman informed me that the people who made that film spent a lot of time and money to make it and I should like it for that reason alone. Even at that age, I might have argued that point, but it was about time for the cake to be served and if there is one thing that can cause a young boy to drop his carefully chosen beliefs, it is the promise of sheet cake. I agreed and the party continued (and I can only assume I was never invited back.) And yet, I knew that what she said didn’t make a lot of sense and that a movie shouldn’t be given a free pass just because people worked on it-if a movie was bad and I could understand why it was bad, I should be able to say so. >From that moment on, I knew what I wanted to do.

And that is how "The Black Hole" changed my life. Who knows, maybe it will change yours as well.

Written by Jeb Rosebrook and Gerry Day. Directed by Gary Nelson. Starring Maximillian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Robert Forster, Joseph Bottoms, Yvette Mimieux and Ernest Borgnine. 1979. 98 minutes. Rated PG. A Disney DVD release. $19.95

THE BEST OF ABBOTT AND COSTELLO: VOLUME 3 (Universal Home Video. $24.95): This latest edition of eight full-length feature films starring the classic comedy duo should prove to also be of interest to fans of the old Universal horror movies of the same period. Not only does the disc feature "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein" (though without the bonus materials that appeared on the original, out-of-print release), it also contains the monster-mash follow-ups "Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer-Boris Karloff" and "Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man". It also includes "Abbott and Costello Go to Mars"-an odd title, considering that they actually wind up going to Venus.

GARAGE DAYS (Fox Home Video. $27.95): After the visionary comic-book spectacles of "The Crow" and "Dark City" and before the disaster of "I Robot", director Alex Proyas made this little-seen charmer about an Australian garage band struggling for their big break despite not being very good. Although not as audience-friendly as "The Commitments", this is a genuinely effective low-key comedy that demonstrates that Proyas doesn’t require visual pyrotechnics in order to make a good film.

KNIGHT RIDER: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON (Universal Home Video. $59.95): So we are still waiting for the second season of "Twin Peaks" to appear, not to mention "Police Squad" and "Batman", yet we can pick up the talking-car show this evening to watch to our hearts content? I’d expect that in Germany, but not in America, for God’s sake!

THE PRINCESS DIARIES: SPECIAL EDITION (Disney DVD. $24.95): Don’t give me that look-I like this movie. It is sweet, funny, Anne Hathaway is a real charmer as the gawky teen who learns she is royalty and Mandy Moore is pretty funny as the class bitch who makes her life hell. Throw in a regal Julie Andrews, some gratuitous Larry Miller schtick and the welcome presence of Heather Matarazzo as the acerbic best pal and you have a movie made for 12-year-old girls that anyone can painlessly sit through. In an amazing coincidence, this is being re-released (with a couple of new features to go along with the stuff from the previous edition) to tie in with the theatrical release of next week’s "The Princess Diaries 2". Ain’t synergy grand?

Copyright © 2004 Peter Sobczynski
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.