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HELLBOY
by Peter Sobczynski

April 2, 2004

(out of 4 stars)

FILM CREDITS: Written and directed by Guillermo del Toro. Starring Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, John Hurt, Rupert Evans and Karel Roden.

Most FX-heavy movies these days consist of a series of elaborate action sequences strung together with the most rudimentary plot possible in the hopes of convincing viewers that they have seen a genuine movie. "Hellboy", the big-budget adaptation of Mike Mignola’s cult comic book, takes that formula and refines it even further by removing the pesky rudimentary plot. The result is one of the most frankly inexplicable movies in recent memory; every scene is an orgy of elaborate visual effects but there is so little to tie them together that the reels could be shown in any order and it would make no appreciable difference. Because there is nothing tangible to hold onto (such as any discernible characters or storyline), "Hellboy" is one of those films where you find yourself increasingly detached from the action; the world is about to end and all you can do is sit there slack-jawed and wonder why you should give a damn.

As far as I can tell, based on my notes, the voluminous press material and the fact that I saw it less than 12 hours before writing these words, Hellboy (Ron Perlman) is a monster forged in the depths of Hell and brought to Earth during an attempt by the Nazis and Rasputin to open a portal to the dark side and bring about the end of the world. Nowadays, he works as muscle for a secret government organization that has been charged with tracking down other monsters and pounding the snot (among other fluids) out of them. His latest enemy is Rasputin (Karel Roden), once again revived and refreshed and planning to destroy all-an activity for which he requires Hellboy’s unwitting help. Fighting alongside our hero is Abe Sapien, a hyper intelligent fish-boy with the look of one of the aliens from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and the voice of David Hyde Pierce (the Niles of the Black Lagoon?), and Liz Sheridan (Selma Blair), who can start raging infernos with her mind ("I hate being called a firestarter!") and who looks like a sullen refugee from a Todd Solondz film.

The character of Liz is especially perplexing, even if you factor out the romantic triangle involving her, Hellboy and a "normal" FBI agent (Rupert Evans) assigned to work with the group. As the story opens, she has left the group and entered an institution in order to learn to control her powers (after flashbacks illustrate how destructive they can be). After demonstrating that she can control them, it takes one subliminal suggestion from Rasputin to cause her to inadvertently burn the entire hospital down. During the finale, though, she can’t start up her powers unless someone smacks her repeatedly in the face-which simply doesn’t make any sense unless a.)del Toro needed a cheap way to prolong her ability to fry the bad guys and end the movie or b.) he just wanted to include a scene in which Selma Blair gets smacked around (possibly as revenge for "Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane"). If a.), then del Toro should have figured out a better way to stretch out the inevitable. If b.), well, you’ve come a long way, baby.

"Hellboy" was written and directed by Guillermo del Toro, who is admittedly an inventive director but one who tends to be more interesting when working on a budget that can’t afford zillions of special effects. On a shoestring, he has made such subtle, creepy and memorable genre films as the neo-vampire saga "Cronos", the Bava-influenced ghost story "The Devil’s Backbone" and the giant cockroach epic "Mimic" (and yes, there can be such a thing as a subtle movie about giant cockroaches). Given a blank check, as he was with this and his previous "Blade 2", he has come up with films that are technically proficient but utterly lacking in any sort of human element. Both films, for example, contain elaborate fight scenes galore but since there is no reasons to care about who is doing the fighting, the scenes wind up playing as nothing more than demo reels to show what the boys in the effects department are up to.

No doubt there are plenty of "Hellboy" fans out there ready to write in and explain the details and nuances of the comic in excruciating detail. (Hell, I just got a note the other day from someone explaining why I was wrong in my judgment on "From Justin to Kelly".) I admit that I went into the film knowing zip about the comic-not too unusual considering that I haven’t regularly cracked a comic book since an inexplicable fascination with "Richie Rich" as a wee lad. However, I submit that the majority of the audiences that Sony hopes to snare for the film will probably be in the same boat and that they will wind up being just as alienated and perplexed as I was.

-- PETER SOBCZYNSKI

Copyright © 2004 Peter Sobczynski
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.