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I, Robot
by Peter Sobczynski

July 16, 2004

1/2 (out of 4 stars)

FILM CREDITS: Starring: Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan, James Cromwell, Bruce Greenwood, Alan Tudyk. Directed by: Alex Proyas. Produced by: Topher Dow, John Davis, Laurence Mark, Will Smith. MPAA Rating is PG-13 (for intense stylized action, and some brief partial nudity). Distributed by 20th Century Fox

There is an epic battle at the heart of "I, Robot", the long-awaited adaptation of Issac Asimov’s famous short-story collection; however, it isn’t the promised rumble between mankind and robots that the commercials are promising. I am referring to the battle to decide on approach to take for the film and the combatants are Alex Proyas, the visionary director of the brainy cult hit "Dark City" working on his first big-studio project, and Will Smith, the big-time actor (and executive-producer) who can be an interesting actor when prodded (as he was in the underrated "Ali") but who is too often willing to coast by with nothing other than his wisecracking hipster persona. Unfortunately, it appears that Smith won the battle handily and instead of being the rare example of intelligent, high-budget fantasy filmmaking that the combination of Asimov and Proyas promised, it winds up being one of the biggest cinematic desecrations of a landmark of the genre since George Lucas hit upon the notion of having Greedo fire first.

Set in the circa-2035 Chicago, the film posits that robots are commonly used both in the home and in business in order to perform menial tasks and the only apparent manufacturer is the omnipresent U.S. Robotics, who seem to be the Microsoft of their time. As the film opens, Dr. Alfred Lanning (James Cromwell), the chief creator of both the robots and the Three Laws of Robotics (briefly put, a robot cannot hurt nor disobey a human and can do anything to preserve itself as long as it doesn’t conflict with the other two rules), has just plunged to his death and wisecracking hipster cop Del Spooner (Smith) is called to the scene, even though he is known for his prejudice against robots (for reasons which we learn in a gradually expanding flashback that isn’t quite as powerful as it thinks it is). After about six seconds of investigation, he deduces that a robot was actually responsible for murdering Lanning-news which could be disastrous for the company as they are on the eve of rolling out their latest generation of models.

Of course, the notion of a robot murdering a human is completely antithetical to the Three Rules, as robotics expert Susan Calvin (Bridget Moynahan) explains. She cannot understand why Spooner would think such a thing, even after the robot in question smacks the both of them around, shoots up the joint and flees. Eventually, the robot, known as Sonny (Alan Tudyk), is apprehended and it is revealed that he has been built and wired in a manner far more advanced than even the newest robots. Clearly, he has been developed for a special purpose and the mystery revolves around who did it and why. Solving it becomes slightly more important when the robots suddenly begin to rebel and band together for a violent revolution against mankind. (And while they never say so, you can just sense that said violent revolution is occuring just as Game 7 of a Cubs-Red Sox World Series has gotten underway.)

As readers of Asimov have no doubt determined, the film of "I, Robot" bears little resemblance to the original stories aside from the Three Laws, a couple of characters and the occasional detail. However, the premise of the film is not necessarily a bad idea and there are enough intriguing concepts to fuel a film willing to tackle them head-on. One of the key dialogue exchanges comes when the robot-bashing Spooner informs Sonny that humans are better than robots because humans can paint pictures and write symphonies but machines can’t-the response is a succinct "Can you?". Proyas dealt with similar questions of existence in "Dark City" and, in an ideal world, "I, Robot" could have been a fascinating further exploration of those same ideas.

Instead, we are given just another crappy Will Smith movie-one that resembles a ham-fisted cross between "Bad Boys 3" and a Bjork video. Instead of philosophical notions, there are lame wisecracks (the low points being when a woman is described as "ass-hot spankable"-a phrase I think Asimov might have worded differently-and a wacky bit where our hero reminds us that he likes the ladies and not the fellas) and a crudely inserted bit of product placement for a pair of "vintage" (circa 2004) sneakers. Instead of thought-provoking dialogue, there is dialogue along the lines of having Smith yell out "Aw, hell no" before a fight. Instead of giving audiences a feel of what life is really like among the robots in 2035, we actually get a scene where the blustery police captain (Chi McBride) demands that our hero turn in his badge and gun. These are the brilliant "improvements" from writers Jeff Vintar and Akiva Goldsman, best known for such fan favorites as "Batman and Robin" and "Lost in Space"; it says much about the quality of "I, Robot" that if I had to choose between watching it or "Lost in Space" again, I would have to think my decision over for a few minutes.

What is even more distressing is that, amongst the stupidities of the screenplay, are moments of astonishing visual beauty. Proyas created a vast world that combined the old and the new in "Dark City" and he does the same thing here using Chicago as a starting point. A brief shot of a futuristic parking garage is memorable and the final showdown between robots and humans (an idea antithetical to Asimov) is a marvelous set-piece that almost convinces you that-80 minutes in-the film has finally gotten itself on track. Even the CGI robots are reasonably convincing and the blending of them with the live-action footage is better than has been seen in most recent effects-heavy films. And yet, whenever we start getting caught up in the look and feel of this future world, Smith pops up to shake his hinder (two underwear shots and a shower scene) and say something stupid and the spell is ruined.

"I, Robot" is a real missed opportunity-a potentially groundbreaking film reduced to a mess fit only for the slack-jawed mallrats that it is being aimed squarely at. If it had worked in the way that it should have, it would have left viewers to contemplate the morality of both technological advances and how mankind adapts to and utilizes them. It would have made them contemplate what could potentially occur in a future where humans are becoming more robotic and robots are becoming more human. (If a robot is programmed to dream, for example, does that make those dreams any less valid to them?) As the end credits rolled, the only questions running in my head revolved around wondering why Will Smith had no curtain or door blocking him during his shower scene while Moynahan got to do hers behind frosted-glass doors. Like the future depicted in the film, "I, Robot" simply doesn’t work.

-- PETER SOBCZYNSKI

Copyright © 2004 Peter Sobczynski
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.