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THIRTEEN
by Peter Sobczynski

August 29, 2003

1/2 (out of 4 stars)

FILM CREDITS: Starring Holly Hunter, Evan Rachel Wood, Nikki Reed, Jeremy Sisto, Brady Corbet, Deborah Kara Unger and Kip Pardue. Directed by Catherine Hardwicke. Written by Catherine Hardwicke and Nikki Reed. Produced by Jeff Levy-Hinte and Michael London. A Fox Searchlight release. Drama. Rated R. Running time: 100 min.

"Thirteen" opens with a scene of a couple of young girls sitting on a bed, stoned out of their minds on pills, whippit hits and who knows what else, and discovering that their drugged-up state has literally left them feeling numb. Giddy over this discovery, they take advantage of this and proceed to begin punching each other in the face, laughing hysterically through increasingly bloody mouths. Well, unless I am missing something (and one of the things about "Thirteen" is that it doesn’t allow you to miss anything), I’m guessing that this sequence is supposed to be a metaphor-these troubled kids are deliberately injuring themselves in response to their utter apathy to the world around them. (As the great Warren Zevon once put it, "I’d rather feel bad than feel nothing at all".)

One of the central problems with "Thirteen", which has been a hot-topic film ever since it debuted at Sundance earlier this year, is that the film spends so much time trying to be shocking and brutal that viewers wind up as numb and uncaring as those two girls. This is a shame because the subject matter is potentially provocative and, in the right hands, could have been turned into a real head-spinner of a film. Instead, it goes so far over-the-top that it winds up having all the impact and resonance of one of those dopey juvenile-delinquent movies from the 1950’s. I take that back-for all of the outdated slang and fashions, films such as "High School Confidential" and even "I Was a Teenage Werewolf" genuinely tapped into the thoughts and feelings of teen life in a way that "Thirteen" never quite comes close to approaching.

The film stars Evan Rachel Wood as Tracy, a sensitive, straight-laced 13-year-old girl (and yes, she is even a poet) who is going through fairly typical adolescent turmoil-her dad is long-gong, she constantly fights with her mom (Holly Hunter) and she yearns to be as popular as class skank Evie (Nikki Reed, who also co-wrote the screenplay, at the age of 13, based on her own experiences). Through a series of circumstances, Tracy abandons her old friends (the one who Buckle Down and Fly Right) and becomes best buds with Evie, who pretty much runs wild while her guardian (Deborah Kara Unger) undergoes one plastic surgery after another.

Before long, Tracy and Evie are running around and behaving badly-before too long, they are drinking, drugging, wearing clothing that would give Christina Aguilera pause, shoplifting, ignoring poetry, getting various appendages pierced and-in what the film suggests is the ultimate form of moral turpitude and degradation-having sex with black people. (While this may not have been the intention, it sure comes off that way-especially since the only African-Americans seen on-screen for any length on time are the two Loatharios, although their girlfriends briefly appear later and threaten to kill Tracy for messing with their men.) Tracy’s mom can sense her daughter beginning to slip away but is unable to do much of anything about it-for starters, she has her own problems with addiction with self-involvement. More importantly, she is one of those parents who thinks that it is more important to act like a pal than a parent and even she falls under the spell of Evie (who describes Mom as being "like the hot big sister.")

"Thirteen" has become a hot topic among pundits because of the way that it portrays the lifestyles of adolescent girls-some people are apparently shocked that such behavior exists. It does-books such as "Reviving Ophelia" and "Queen Bees & Wannabes" (the later is extensively quoted in the press materials for "Thirteen") have documented similar lifestyles while exploring the roots of such behavior-but debuting director Catherine Hardwicke (who co-wrote the script with Reed) is so ham-fisted in her attempts to push the buttons of audience members that the material winds up looking ridiculous. Instead of coming to grips with such behavior in an attempt to understand it, Hardwicke is content merely to portray it with all the lip-smacking glee of an old exploitation movie.

Much has also been made about the fact that it was co-written by a 13-year-old but no one seems to notice the fact that it feels like it was written by a 13-year-old, and a lazy and inattentive one to boot. No cliché is left untouched; once again, we are treated to the once-appalling, now-hackneyed device of a girl expressing her despair by cutting herself with a razor. (I am eagerly awaiting a Zucker Brothers parody of such scenes in which a girl winds up cutting off her own limbs because she is really, really depressed.) By far, the worst aspect comes towards the end, where all authenticity flies out the window and the film turns into an After-School Special. For anyone who has made an emotional investment in "Thirteen" up to that point, those closing scenes are nothing less than an enraging cop-out.

Evan Rachel Wood is an actress whom you may recognize from her role as the troubled daughter on the TV show "Once and Again" or in films like "Simone" or "Little Secrets". Despite her youth, she is an uncommonly good and gifted actress and seems to have the talent and range to pass from adolescent to adult roles in the way that Jodie Foster has. However, despite her gifts, she is never convincing here as Tracy. Even when she is supposed to be spiraling out of control, she always seems far too mature (in the good sense) and level-headed to ever be believable-you always get the sense that at the end of the day, her character is going to go home, wipe all the junk off her face and curl up with a good book and a Sarah MacLachlan CD. This is especially evident when she is sharing the screen with Reed, who is frighteningly convincing as the manipulative Evie and who might have made an interesting Tracy as well-supposedly, she decided against playing that role on the grounds that she had already lived through it once.

Despite all the huffing and puffing, "Thirteen" is the kind of film (like the even-worse "Kids") that will be described as "shocking" and "a wake-up call" by critics who haven’t had any contact with actual kids since their own adolescence-real kids will probably bust a gut laughing at the hyperbole and consider it a camp classic. Today’s kids deserve a film that accurately depicts their lives and the turmoils they are going through without pouring on the melodrama-imagine the film that could have emerged if Hardwicke had stuck Reed in front of a camera and simply had her talk about her experiences? "Thirteen" claims to be such a film but I think that kids today deserve better than something that turns out to be nothing more than a modern-day version of "Foxes".

-- PETER SOBCZYNSKI

Copyright © 2003 Peter Sobczynski
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While the views expressed by Peter Sobczynski do not necessarily reflect the views of Criticdoctor.com, the Critic Doctor will occasionally examine Mr. Sobczynski's film reviews to bring forth an honest examination of those views expressed.