"Where Movie Critics Get A Taste Of Their Own Medicine!"
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Actors go "The
Whole Nine Yards"
by Herb Kane
March 9th, 2000
out of 4 (R)
The Critic Doctor examines: Roger Ebert (Chicago Sun-Times), Owen Gleiberman (Entertainment Weekly),
Bob Graham (San Francisco Chronicle),
Mr. Cranky (mrcranky.com), Edvins Beitiks (San Francisco Examiner),
E! Online, Lou Lumenick (New York Post), Jack Garner (Rochester Chronicle), David
Elliott (Union Tribune), Jay Boyar (Orlando Sentinel) and Shawn Levy (The Oregonian).
"The Whole Nine Yards" may be a dark comedy about mafia types killing each other, but the actors bring all these cliche characters to life - in a way that is tolerable and funny. Some critics, apparently, didn't have a sense for the humor in this film while others enjoyed themselves immensely.
Owen Gleiberman (Entertainment Weekly) said, "'The Whole Nine Yards' is a convoluted 'dweeb meets the Mob' farce in which everyone is trying to kill everyone else, but it's the movie that's the real corpse - albeit a busy, twitching one." I'm beginning to wonder if Gleiberman played like a corpse, with eyes wide shut, after the first few scenes. This movie was far from dead.
Bob Graham (San Francisco Chronicle) got off to a better start: "For quite a few of 'The Whole Nine Yards,' it appears that the most clever thing in the movie is going to be the opening credits, monstrous close-ups of the morning toothbrushing routine. Then after about 45 minutes or so come a couple of plot twists that bring this malicious baby to life."
I admit it. There was a bit of a birth pain before the movie brought this "baby to life." The initial interaction between Oz Oseransky (Matthew Perry) and his wife Sophie (Rosanna Arquette) put up red flags. Oz's self-inflicted head beating on the steering wheel of his car was a bit much, like slap-stick under a magnifying glass. It was here I thought this movie was definitely going to take a wrong turn. But I was wrong.
Perry's character became more likable and needed as "The Whole Nine Yards" stretched out the plot. But the critics wasted no time attacking Perry for making his "Oz" character identical to his Chandler Bing on the TV sitcom "Friends."
Mr. Cranky (mrcranky.com) pouts, "I can't help but think that if you bottled Matthew Perry's talent and tried to sell it as cologne, it would smell like the innards of a rotting corpse and come in an eyedropper. Can this man do anything else but play Chandler Bing?"
As soon as I clicked on Mr. Cranky's review of this movie, I could have sworn that rotten eyedropper cologne leaked onto his review and somehow oozed out from my computer monitor. The stench was enough to wake the dead and kill the living. Go figure. Anyway, Perry is relatively new to the movie scene, so give him a break. Besides, the character worked well with the film.
Edvins Beitiks (San Francisco Examiner) offers a breath of fresh air: "Perry plays Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky, a dentist from suburban Montreal, as another variation on the theme of Bing. But that's not necessarily a bad thing -- Perry-Bing is the glue that holds the movie together. Without his aw-shucks face and stumblin'-bumblin' mannerisms, the film could turn phony."
Indeed. It is the opposing extremes, in my opinion, combined with good acting that bring a happy medium to this comedy. What also pulls this movie together is realizing the actors are playing "caricatures" of stereotypical characters. And the chemistry brought to the screen makes them all come to life - Bruce Willis (Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski) playing the cool and cocky contract killer; Amanda Peet (Jill) creating an enormously funny hit-woman-wanna-be; Michael Clarke Duncan (Frankie) accomplishes a bigger than life character with intelligence and Kevin Pollak (Janni Gogolak) is a picture perfect mob boss with a speech deformity.
David Elliott (Union-Tribune) says, "The casting is so good it purrs."
Then there is Rosanna Arquette. I'm still trying to figure out if she purposely wanted to annoy her audience with that French accent or did she just play that part awful.An E! Online review comments, "Arquette is downright awful as Perry's annoying, murdous wife."
Ok. So she was both "awful" and "annoying."
Lou Lumenick (New York Post) adds, "Only Arquette fails to deliver. Sporting a horrific French accent and aging-sexpot duds, she seems to be acting in another movie, if not on another planet."
The real crowd pleaser in the film is not Perry or Willis. It was Oz's dental assistant, Jill (Amanda Peet). Just one look at her bright white smile and her quirky, clumsy way of playing someone a little too happy to kill was brilliant.
Roger Ebert (Chicago Sun-Times) declares a perfect performance by Amanda Peet: "She makes it all look so easy we forget that what she accomplishes is just about impossible: She is funny because of her personality without resorting to a 'funny personality.' They don't teach that in acting school."
Jack Garner (Rochester Chronicle) adds, "The film's stand-out performance, though, is by Peet (of TV's Jack and Jill). Her ambitious, utterly uninhibited dental-assistant-turned-hit-woman is the film's funniest character."
Could we have a future Julia Roberts on our hands? Not according to Shawn Levy (The Oregonian). His movie review contends: "Peet is lively, but, then, there are ironing boards that would look perky in this context."
I'm sorry, Shawn. I don't get it.
Shawn also vomits, "Comedies don't come much grimmer than 'The Whole Nine Yards,' a witless, listless muck-up that sends you reeling from the theater with thoughts of suicide instead of a chipper grin."
There are grimmer comedies, Shawn. Your scathing movie review, for one. Are you sure you don't write for 'The OreGrumpyian?' After reading this worthless online review, folks, you'll be ready to click the BACK button on your internet web browser - and immediately hit your clear history button. Need I say more?
Jay Boyar (Orlando Sentinel) says, "The movie relies far too much on killing off characters to tie up loose ends."
Imagine. A gangster film killing people off to tie up loose ends. Make sense? I think so. The movie doesn't "rely" on killing people, but rather how well the people work together in the film. In fact, Jimmy "The Tulip" said it best: "It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive." And so it goes with the film, too.
Roger Ebert made an interesting comment that probably relates to many negative critics: "I think you have to be observant during this film. There are some moments that are likely to be funny no matter what, but others depend on a certain momentum that gets going if you tune in to the underlying good humor."
Too many negative critics were not as attentive to this film as they could have been.
Lumenick summed the movie up best: ""The Whole Nine Yards" is an offer you shouldn't refuse: It's laugh-out-loud, side-splitting funny."
I went to this movie expecting a two-star film. Instead, I came out with a three-star surprise. You can thank the actors for that. They went the whole nine yards to bring their characters to life, making this a fun film to watch.
--THE CRITIC DOCTOR
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| CAST: Bruce Willis (Jimmy Tudeski), Matthew Perry (Oz Oseransky), Rosanna Arquette (Sophie), Michael Clarke Duncan (Frankie), Amanda Peet (Jill) and Kevin Pollak (Janni Gogolak). |
R - (for sexuality and violence) |
| DIRECTOR: Jonathan Lynndsd | SCREENPLAY: Mitchell Kapner |
| CINEMATOGRAPHY: David Franco | MUSIC: Randy Edelman |
| DISTRIBUTOR: Warner Brothers | RELEASE DATE: Februrary 18th, 2000 |
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